>>11332104
At the end of the day we are only human and sometimes we mess up or things dont go to plan.

if your key holder, online or not, cant understand that and gets super annoyed that you embracing your fetish makes you horny enough to unlock and jerk off, then they arent the one... and its time to move on.
you should stay locked though, cus thats kind of the point of the fetish. Any time you think about unlocking just because you are horny, redirect it towards something else, nipple play, anal, etc.

as for the paranoia over dissapointing them, try to change how you think about it.
instead of thinking of how dissapointed they'd be if you unlock due to lack of self control.
try thinking about how happy and impressed they'd be to see you stayed locked and think of how you'll be rewarded by them


TL;DR: chill out, embrace anal play, change mindset, stay locked