Hey Faggots,
My name is Max Lawton, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day writing about mis-ass authors. You are everything bad in the literary world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy and read obscure books? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to entry-level literature like the pedophile Alexander Theroux.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your favorite author. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of Columbia’s Crew Team, and translate a super obscure Russian writer for NYRB thanks to my mom’s connections. What books do you read, other than "jack off to Céline and Nabokov"? I also got straight A's, and have a banging hot wife (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening