>>150054239
Thanks I'm making steps to try and function year round. I have more hope every year as I learn more

>>150054262
Idk if you're taking the piss or not. I don't get that at all. Little grandeur. I am no illusion I'm basically useless and no one seeks me for anything other than gain. That being said I do actually get extremely high sense of grandeur some times. I'll watch it out of curiosity. My states are more imminent threats than existential. I had a world view which I know is true as I had believe things for years, I practically grew up on /pol/ and reality is worse than what was projected which I believed. I'm generally very paranoid and I don't understand social dynamics very well. I recently destroyed my relationship with a mental health nurse who had taken a liking to me apparently. It's quite a fucked life but I cope by accepting I'm complicated, full of emotions, genuinely intelligent and have future prospects if things go my way. I want to ride some national races, I want a nice camper van as I sold my sporty car pic rel, I expect a 5w/kg FTP, I want to take my dad to europe to ride climbs because he said he never can. Kids would be a dream. But I need to sort my sorry life because I start spaffing. Feel guilty when girls talk to me because I'm not enough yet.