(Made these for you guys, based off a lewd thread from way back about 'Nigger Time-Fuckers' or something like that. hope you like them, with the bonus of a story attached too.)

>Yo, my nigga Nimbus,

I just had to hit you up, 'cause I stumbled upon this crazy-ass shit in 200BC, right? Picture this: a village so backwoods, it makes the projects look like a fucking resort. But the pussy? Oh, the pussy is gold, my man. Sniped this fine-ass Celtic bitch, not legal by our time's standards, but here, she's probably been poppin' out babies already, right? Her name's something like Moira, but who the fuck cares? Her body's tight as a drum, like this tribal shit on her, all wandering around NAKED and shit. true Art, nan.

So, this kid, I turn off my cloaker, she gives me the eye. You know that look - the one that says she wants to get fucked like there's no tomorrow. And let me tell you, bro, she was eager. Didn't even have to threaten her, she just led me to her favourite place in the woods. Bitch probably thinks im one of her pagan gods or whatever.

She's all spread out, ready for me to dive in. I drive that shit home, and she's bucking like a wild horse. Then I slide in, and she's tighter than a pair of those gay travel suits they try top make us wear. I pound her like she owes me money, and she's loving every minute of it. She's clawing at me, begging for more, and I'm just giving it to her like a champ.

Anyway, hope your having fun where you are, think im going to knock this little bitch up, 100%!

Your Nigga,

Quintalus VIII