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7/31/2025, 6:06:41 AM
>Be Cherry Bomb, distant relative (and frequent lookalike contest winner) of Panko Ponera
>11:34am, right on time to clock in for the Le Bombe Squad
>Your morning routine is quite routine today
>Get yelled at by the chief
>Shoot the cheese with all the other ponice
>Watch the chief see what you did in the coffee pot
>Let the slimjims out of the salt tank
>More chief yelling
>"Cherry, you can't keep putting tea in the bean pot! I'll need your slingshot and your sandwich club card, and your rump better be out of here right at closing time today!"
>Now you have at least a few hours to goof off and get your paperwork done, all according to keikaku
>Grab your tax forms and your daughter's permission slips and head to the break room
>Turn on the news, nothing important right now. Sugar crisis in Ponyville, big fudging dogs running wild near the crystal empire, cursed music boxes and vacuums and-
>boring. The perfect backdrop for some good, old-fashioned Adulting.
>You're halfway through signing the authorization to grant permission for aquatic life learning excursions when your ears perk up-
>"I'm Rachel Meadow, reporting live and tied up from this hostage situation at the market off Hayseed Turnpike. Mr. Hostage Taker, the public has a right to know, what's the deal here?"
>Oh ho.
>"Thanks Rache- It's actually pretty simple- this stupid store is run by ninnies who can't even keep enough cheesecake in stock, so we've rigged this complicated Rube Goldberg machine to these cylindrical cinnamon roll dough cans."
>Oh yeah, it's all coming together
>"So if you don't get your cheesecake, it's gonna open these cans with a really scary pop?"
>"That's about it, yeah, but we also rigged a few of the doors here with more complicated mechanisms- if the cops try to rescue you, this whole store will be covered in cinnamon dough and it'll take forever to clean it all out of your fur."
>"Wow. Scary stuff. Well, you heard it here first, folks- can the ponice rescue me? Do I even care, or am I getting that stockholm syndrome I've heard so much about? I mean I never liked this store much to begin with. I guess we'll have more at 1!"
>Three
>Two
>One
>"CHERRY BOMB! YOU'RE A MAVERICK, BUT THAT'S JUST WHAT WE NEED!"
>Buck, you love this job
>11:34am, right on time to clock in for the Le Bombe Squad
>Your morning routine is quite routine today
>Get yelled at by the chief
>Shoot the cheese with all the other ponice
>Watch the chief see what you did in the coffee pot
>Let the slimjims out of the salt tank
>More chief yelling
>"Cherry, you can't keep putting tea in the bean pot! I'll need your slingshot and your sandwich club card, and your rump better be out of here right at closing time today!"
>Now you have at least a few hours to goof off and get your paperwork done, all according to keikaku
>Grab your tax forms and your daughter's permission slips and head to the break room
>Turn on the news, nothing important right now. Sugar crisis in Ponyville, big fudging dogs running wild near the crystal empire, cursed music boxes and vacuums and-
>boring. The perfect backdrop for some good, old-fashioned Adulting.
>You're halfway through signing the authorization to grant permission for aquatic life learning excursions when your ears perk up-
>"I'm Rachel Meadow, reporting live and tied up from this hostage situation at the market off Hayseed Turnpike. Mr. Hostage Taker, the public has a right to know, what's the deal here?"
>Oh ho.
>"Thanks Rache- It's actually pretty simple- this stupid store is run by ninnies who can't even keep enough cheesecake in stock, so we've rigged this complicated Rube Goldberg machine to these cylindrical cinnamon roll dough cans."
>Oh yeah, it's all coming together
>"So if you don't get your cheesecake, it's gonna open these cans with a really scary pop?"
>"That's about it, yeah, but we also rigged a few of the doors here with more complicated mechanisms- if the cops try to rescue you, this whole store will be covered in cinnamon dough and it'll take forever to clean it all out of your fur."
>"Wow. Scary stuff. Well, you heard it here first, folks- can the ponice rescue me? Do I even care, or am I getting that stockholm syndrome I've heard so much about? I mean I never liked this store much to begin with. I guess we'll have more at 1!"
>Three
>Two
>One
>"CHERRY BOMB! YOU'RE A MAVERICK, BUT THAT'S JUST WHAT WE NEED!"
>Buck, you love this job
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