>>81766030
>>81766482
>>81766424
the anons here talking about "letting go" of the hate are giving stock advice they largely dont understand, the hate for the people who hurt you is completely natural, expected, normal, and healthy

What isn't healthy is having the thought pattern and direct memories of the event plague you and inform your decision making to this day. The events that happened are over, but your brain unfortunately has not realized that and is utterly obsessed with them, which is why you have PTSD symptoms. The hate isn't the issue, it's the unhealthy, trauma-induced obsession your brain has because it is terrified of you being hurt like you were again. It's a protection method that's overstayed its welcome

keep the hate close, but in an intelligent way. Avoid ineffective lashing out and focus instead on meaningful damage, when the opportunity presents itself. If you can legally make the life of someone who has wronged you worse and doing it won't cost you more than its benefit, do it. Do what you can to intervene in situations similar to your own as to prevent them

Furthermore, I have also found that sympathy for and helping those who have gone through pain like I have has helped me feel as though im doing something productive with my hatred. in the sense its personally fulfilling and actively helping real people in my life live better. Abusers are able to abuse less if theres stronger people out there protecting weaker people and if the stronger people are trying to make the weak people strong

so, in a sense, dont let go. Internalize the important parts of your trauma and what matters to you. Really feel those bad moments and understand the wrong thats been done to you and, if possible, do damage against what causes it in the world and help victims of it, or those trying to destroy it. This way, your hatred can be expressed in a way that's pro-social, but also in a way that's effective in preventing what happened to you from happening to others