>>280763589
You managed to do an interesting progress.
>I hate myself for all I did
Well, don't know if it matter, but i would never hate your for that.
When i was younger i took myself so seriously and i think i overdid it in trying to do things well. Now i think, if i made mistakes in those years, i would have forgiven myself. It's not bad to make mistakes as long as you learn from them.