>>22939520
Don't do it, it's not worth it and you still have plenty of time ahead. What should you do? get more focused on your interests. If you are good with numbers, writing, theoretical or practical stuff, whatever. Once you know your "specialization", go and do some self-taught study about the area. Of course, I'm not asking you to become an engineer or a lawyer tomorrow, but build a base for your future knowledge and future career
As you can tell, not everything is study. Work. And I know that you said up there that you already had some shitty jobs before, but it's never enough. With work you will feel fulfilled in your day-to-day, specially because, if you're disciplined and planned beforehand, this job will just be temporal
Depending on what you have been working, you could have some spare money. Only if you can, try some sport, or go directly to the gym. This is only if you can, but I sure you that this also will help you to feel better with yourself
The rest is on your hand, OP. I already had 19yo, and what I would do if I had 19yo again it's probably different from what you would do now. It's not a exhaustive list of things to do, it's just a reference. Adapt my recommendations to your current states and opportunities, and you might get something good. Just remember, never die in vain, and never give up or faint