My dad's in a nursing home rehab and he can't go home without 24/7 care cuz of his bad hips, bad eyes, failing kidneys and possible dementia. He's been too stubborn about not going to doctors for too long and now it's caught up.

Missed the past month and a half of work visiting him and figuring out his benefits and finances. Praying that Medicaid goes thru soon and he can get in-home care or placement in a decent nursing home. I live in the Midwest and he lives on the east coast. I love him but I can't be his caretaker and I feel a shit load of guilt over it. He's in his 80's and I'm 30. Maybe that's old but that feels too young to have to worry about parents falling apart. Mom's dead, brother's dead, now this shit.

Everyone I've mentioned this to says I'm doing a good job and a nursing home is the right call but I still feel like a cunt. I get very angry at times about how things turned out. I'm so anxious all the time. Every time someone talks to me and family comes up, I don't know what to say because what the fuck can I say that isn't depressing or a lie? Fuck me.