>>40582286
Thank you, I also have the feeling it's a task I won't be able to avoid, I've also made huge steps in the last few weeks.
There's a saying that if you can put a problem into words and write it down, you've already solved half of it. That is also the reason why I created this thread.
>>40582307
The memories I had repressed were mostly about being ashamed of not living up to expectations and hiding my idiosyncrasies.
For example, my grandma used to shout at me and punish me because I couldn't concentrate on my homework, but I just couldn't do it so. this impotence made me lie to myself and lose control over myself.

When I was a bit older, I was also very interested in the occult, managed to feel my third eye all the time and had strong vibrations and was even able to leave my body once. I also dreamed visions.
I suspect that I was too naive in my attempts and attracted a malicious being, the wound in my soul I had made myself made it easyier to control me.

As a child I always had the compulsion to visualize an eye with something coming out similar to the image I generated, maybe it means something, but I was probably just afraid of losing an eye.