>>230998
>>231000
>>231057
>>231090
Though I've kept silent, I haven't ignored this thread since I made it. The posters here gave me a lot to chew on. I of course am depressed, but there's a heavy side of extremely repressed aggression to go along with, which might actually be the root of said depression. Probably from my shittt home life. Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy doesn't sound nearly as bad as Chronic Traumatic Incelalopathy. I've lived life as a loser and even still I want to compensate for the past and steal back some kind of future for myself rather than cower in fear forever. Maybe since I'm braver now, I'll be able to train, spar, and fight better since I'm honest with myself about my mortality. All I've really got is grit and a sad sort of stoicism in me, though I do hope I have some talent, whether in striking power, cardio, reflexes, or innately superior kinesthetic learning rate and retention.

And yeah, I secretly want the recognition, and the riches and the bitches too. Every man wants that deep down even if he doesn't say it out loud. Since there's no hope of getting tight young hot pussy forever otherwise, I must succeed so I can gorge myself on pussy like a dog that's been starved lifelong only to be thrown into a room filled with infinite prime cut steak.