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6/16/2025, 12:46:00 AM
Each one has different inputs, different effects, and the complexity of a tax code. Want to use your level 3? Better input 236BC, but only if you didn’t already burn it on a combo that got blocked, countered, or invalidated by the f*ing Repetition Curse**!
Oh yeah. Let’s talk about Repetition Curse. You can’t use the same type of move twice in a combo. Sounds like a combo limiter, right? NO. It’s a creatively bankrupt way to punish anyone who wants to, you know, actually PLAY the game.
5A > 2A > cl.B > 2B? Nope. TOO MUCH FUN. Game says:
“INVALID STATE!”
And that’s when your opponent air techs out and kicks you in the dick for trying to express yourself.
Air teching. Ground teching. Hold-to-tech. Directional tech. Protection Gauge. Spell Reserve. Escape Roll. Supreme Guard. Extra Roll. Final Roll.
Jesus. H. Christ. This game’s got more defensive options than the f*ing Geneva Convention.**
You get hit? Tech.
You block? Guard Cancel.
You’re stunned? Spend your entire soul meter and just leave the match spiritually.
You wanna taunt? THAT gives you meter too!
Who made this game, a f***ing insurance company? You’ve got more failsafes than a nuclear reactor.
AND WHO THE HELL NAMES A CLASH SYSTEM "SPARK"?! You know what spark means in a fighting game? GUILTY GEAR. DRAGON BALL. Not “hitboxes touched tips so now we both cancel into f*** all.” Spark in this game is like a wet fart in a hurricane. Useless and gone before you notice it even happened.
And the damage system? “Simple, low numbers.” Oh cool, now instead of doing 350,000 damage in a cinematic finisher, I get to do "17." Nothing says epic like a screen-shattering death beam that does single-digit chip damage. Welcome to Fighter Accountant Simulator 2025.
The game even lets you taunt to recover meter! That’s right: taunt for buffs, meter, and spiritual dominance. This isn’t a fighting game—it’s a middle school drama class with swords and mana bars.
Oh yeah. Let’s talk about Repetition Curse. You can’t use the same type of move twice in a combo. Sounds like a combo limiter, right? NO. It’s a creatively bankrupt way to punish anyone who wants to, you know, actually PLAY the game.
5A > 2A > cl.B > 2B? Nope. TOO MUCH FUN. Game says:
“INVALID STATE!”
And that’s when your opponent air techs out and kicks you in the dick for trying to express yourself.
Air teching. Ground teching. Hold-to-tech. Directional tech. Protection Gauge. Spell Reserve. Escape Roll. Supreme Guard. Extra Roll. Final Roll.
Jesus. H. Christ. This game’s got more defensive options than the f*ing Geneva Convention.**
You get hit? Tech.
You block? Guard Cancel.
You’re stunned? Spend your entire soul meter and just leave the match spiritually.
You wanna taunt? THAT gives you meter too!
Who made this game, a f***ing insurance company? You’ve got more failsafes than a nuclear reactor.
AND WHO THE HELL NAMES A CLASH SYSTEM "SPARK"?! You know what spark means in a fighting game? GUILTY GEAR. DRAGON BALL. Not “hitboxes touched tips so now we both cancel into f*** all.” Spark in this game is like a wet fart in a hurricane. Useless and gone before you notice it even happened.
And the damage system? “Simple, low numbers.” Oh cool, now instead of doing 350,000 damage in a cinematic finisher, I get to do "17." Nothing says epic like a screen-shattering death beam that does single-digit chip damage. Welcome to Fighter Accountant Simulator 2025.
The game even lets you taunt to recover meter! That’s right: taunt for buffs, meter, and spiritual dominance. This isn’t a fighting game—it’s a middle school drama class with swords and mana bars.
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