So I fell for the meme bros. I never thought that would happen to me of all people the most stone cold incel from this place. But she captured my heart alright, I never felt this towards anyone else.

For context I am 19 (M), I currently live in Brazil, and she's 20 (F) and lives on the US.

Uhm I guess the advice that I'm looking for is, how can I mentally equip myself for what might happen if things go south. You know life is a major bitch man, and I'm genuinely scared for the first time in my life about someone else other than me. And I do not like that feeling a whole lot. It's new but I wish that I could love her and also just push that away.

She told me she's also concerned about me, but in all honesty that only makes things tougher for me. I don't want her to be concerned about me. (I know that's selfish)

Maybe I'm just being incredibly stupid because this is the first time I ever felt like this. It's just that I never expected to feel this way. Is this what people call "love"? If so, is there a smart way to navigate this or am I just bound to get fucked because of the nature of this relationship?