>>40608104
I feel that, I was very much those two things, even an abuser
I was treated as someone to be wary of like that in a way, or i perceived I was treated that way, but I wanted to be better as I was disappointing myself and failing my faith with others and with the Big Man above, I tried my best to try and do better for those in my past, but it was stalling and making my future prospects to do better harder and more uncertain, in other words, I had to be kind to myself and to others even if they will never show it, I be kind to others because the act is kind upon my well-being and soul, I expect no reward, nor seek validation for confirmation of doing good, for some reason I get that feeling in one way or another from within and around me, peace be with us all, pity the one who alienates themselves away from the Good Progress from someone trying to redeem themselves in their own good way,