>>11326239
I can give some tips for aneros play that worked for me if you are interested in it. But I think you're generally on the right track and just need to play around some more without any expectations.

>but in either case I never get to anything I can really point to and say "yeah that was an orgasm."
Might be an expectations thing. Using something like an aneros or the njoy (lightly) causes more like waves, There's not some big explosion at the end that you're working towards like normal masturbation. You need to get rid of that deeply ingrained idea completely.
Supposedly there's that super-o possible but I've never managed that and I don't think it's an achievable goal.

>I was very disappointed with the njoy wand, it gets rave reviews but I've never managed to get it to really do anything to me that would make the price tag feel worth it.
I usually use the small side like an extension for my fingers, but I also think it's way harder to use compared to other toys. Not really one of my favorites either.