>>42472255
>The more you do the less intelligent Twilight seems.
It's just too hot to think out there in the desert. Very relatable. She suffered 42 sun strokes already.
>Thorax's fic more than Twilight's
100%. There is still hope that the fic goes for a 2-part structure and, for example, in the second half he gets caught, leaving Twilight to carry the story (and carry out his jailbreak), but the chance of that is very small.

>>42472457
>Don't think about it!
The ARE good stories that ask you to not think too hard, but they usually try a little harder to mask it. Not with a "eh, I kinda didn't want to" A/N.

>>42472479
>This fic is thoroughly fanfiction.
It's a good way to sum it up, yeah, the good and the bad.
>as pervasively inept as moonhorse in Changeling Heart
But Changeling Heart had bigger ideas for her. Not all of them materialized, but there was something there. Here, though, she's bad so that Thorax can do everything, and that sucks.
Attempting to stay close to the show in terms of how it feels has been good, though I worry if the second part continues to deliver. That's where the big conflict has to happen, and we're already in a setting where bugs execute traitors.