"The photograph is what started the whole thing for me," she says, "but who knows? It wasn't a big event, it was like a tiny pinprick, just a little jolt, but right from that instant, you know it's fatal, like a poison has been injected into your system and there's no antidote, no hope I think I knew right from the very beginning what it really meant, what would have to happen. I fought against it for three years, tried to keep it pushed aside, tried to bury it under all the minutiae of life, work, family, home, but all that time it kept growing in me, growing like a cancer. What was it, really? A thought? A realization? A glimpse? I really don't know, but it's definitely a point of no return. I knew all my denial was just a temporary solution. I knew I was heading toward my own ruin by staring at the picture every day, but I couldn't help it. It would have felt like a betrayal not to. That was a painful time. I felt like a stranger in my own home, like an alien in human disguise. I had this secret thing growing inside me; as it got bigger, the other me, the mom, the wife, the attorney, all the rest, got smaller. I was looking out through the same eyes, but behind them I was an imposter, a pretender, trying to hold on to a world that was no longer mine. I knew from the first chapter of your first book that the time had come, that whatever was happening to me would soon be born after this uncomfortable three year gestation. That this thing that had been growing inside me would burst out and ruin Everything."

"And now here you are, sitting in conversation with me," I smile, "Ain't that a piece of luck."
"I guess you and I wouldn't be sitting here talking together if I were just normal, the way I was: if I wasn't in this goddamned meltdown, I mean, it's not like we're, you know... I don't know. Never mind.'

>>508493153
peerless
this is art