Jen's son's version is better.
He is the poster from here Jennifer Psaki drugged with LSD.
He said Jesus was an epic politician representing the poor, then he was up against the factions of oligarchs in Rome.
The oligarchs controlled everything, they tried to smear jesus mother as a whore to get everyone to not vote for him, so Jesus fake news network responded with epic flat earth logic and spread she was impregnated by god as a virgin, both to raise her honor and self esteem and to show they don't care about what the oligarchs say.
The oligarchs seeing Jesus was about to win the election, kept sowing doubt about his ability to lead the republic, so the fake news network spread stories of healing and turning water into wine in a "don't care, still voting jesus" fashion.
Then the oligarchs activated the Samson option and killed jesus, they wouldn't let him win the election just like that, they did due process trolling and accused Jesus of fake crimes to not let him win the presidency of the roman empire and the fake news network was making him into a god and made his burial site sacred, which made the oligarchs destroy his burial site and vanish his body with acid to not let the plebs have any hope or shred of happiness and joy. The plebs then in flat earth fake news to show to the oligarchs they don't care about what they say, started acting like his body vanished because he risen to heaven and resuscitated and they had seen him here and there and he will come back like Hitler said his spirit will rise from the grave.