>See those little numbers on the food right there? They're called labels. Imma let you in on a little secret about these calories. They're not gonna count themselves. Okay? Without you counting, they're just worthless stickers. Like a loaded M16 without a trained marine to pull the trigger. And in the case of you.... my fatties. My highly trained lardheads. MY BINGERS. My fucking warriors. Who will not have a bite of food until they either count or fucking DIE.

>There is no nobility in obesity. I have been a fit man, and I have been a fat man. And I choose fit every fucking time.

>So you listen to me and you listen well /fat/.
Do you have clothes in your closet you haven't been able to fit in for years? Good. Pick up the label and start counting.

>Is your doctor ready to evict you? Good. Pick up the label and start counting.

>Does your family think you're a worthless fucking loser? Good. Pick up the label and start counting. I want you to deal with your problems. By becoming FIT.


>All you have to do today. Is pick up that label and do the counting I've taught you. And I will make you skinnier than any ketoschizo in the entire fucking world.