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"Still, her symptoms are only getting worse. She says strong odors remind her of the dead bodies of the soldiers who gave their lives in Gaza. She's also suffering from emotional upheavals including uncontrollable weeping and harsh nightmares that ruin her sleep.
"The sense is that the systems won't see me, after all I've given them," she says. "I just want to start a new chapter in life, to deal with what I've gone through and try to rehabilitate myself. Why should I beg? Why isn't it obvious?"
In January, soldiers told Haaretz that commanders had prevented them from receiving psychological care and even made disparaging remarks. Some commanders were motivated by the worsening manpower in combat units, while others had dated perceptions about mental health.
One soldier says a commander told his soldiers: "I don't believe in psychologists and mental health officers. Look for that in civilian life."
The army declined to provide data on the number of soldiers and officers who have been discharged for psychological reasons during the war, compared with previous years. The IDF Spokesperson's Unit is thus withholding an answer despite a query based on the Freedom of Information Act.
"This query requires the collection of a raft of data from several agencies in the field, which is why the answer has been delayed so long," the IDF said, though sources at the Personnel Directorate say the army "tends to delay the release of data that doesn't serve its purpose."
The rehab department admits that it's struggling with the unprecedented number of mental-health requests. The hardest problem seems to be staffing: There aren't enough rehab workers and psychologists, and mainly, there aren't enough psychiatrists.
Sources at the department cite disagreements with the Finance Ministry about employing more experts, and the low pay doesn't make the positions any easier to fill."