>roommate finally out of the house for the entire weekend
>no gf
>horny af
>decide to treat myself for the first time ever to enjoying an entire evening alone with porn on our big tv
>settle in on the couch
>pants off
>cock in hand ready to experience the masturbatory equivalent of a spa day
> Suddenly the front door, not more than 4 feet away from me swings open
>From the vantage point of the front door you'd be able to see and hear everything.
>freak out and stand up without thinking
>some older lady I've never seen before in my life goes bug eyed and pale white as I'm stubbling over myself to pull up my pants and find the tv remote
>trip over pants
>land bare ass up in front of the woman who at this point is so flustered instead of running out the door, walks further into my apartment
>stammering something about the office giving her the wrong key
>mfw I'm still face planted into the carpet, porno sounds blaring out in stereo, with my pants around my ankles...
>"...please... please go."
And that was the last time I ever attempted to watch porn on a big tv.