It feels like I’m being pushed out of society, or like I don’t belong anywhere anymore. In my early teens I came out as bi to my friend group, and they were okay with it even though they were conservative-leaning. Sometimes I would crossdress around them, sort of playing it off like a joke. At 19 I started HRT, and have been out to everyone for a few years now.

Getting into hypno and chastity, and exploring my sexuality has been a true dream come true. It feels good and right, and has made me so happy. If I could just live as a 24/7 submissive sex slave to some rich man and all his friends like in my fantasies, I think my life would be whole and I would be genuinely fulfilled. Instead, I have to live in the real world, and it’s beginning to feel hostile in ways it never did before. That friend group doesn’t speak to me anymore, and hasn’t since I started hormones. Since then, I’ve made mostly female friends.

I’d been going to the gym with 2 of those friends, but when the controversy over planet fitness and a trans woman happened last year they stopped inviting me along. We never talked about why, but I feel like I know. And in my nursing courses, there is now open anti-transgender language from the professors. One of them talked about it being a social contagion affecting children, and that being dangerous. Their lessons are supposed to be evidence-based, and the research does not back this up.