Thread 33492720

It feels like I’m being pushed out of society, or like I don’t belong anywhere anymore. In my early teens I came out as bi to my friend group, and they were okay with it even though they were conservative-leaning. Sometimes I would crossdress around them, sort of playing it off like a joke. At 19 I started HRT, and have been out to everyone for a few years now.

Getting into hypno and chastity, and exploring my sexuality has been a true dream come true. It feels good and right, and has made me so happy. If I could just live as a 24/7 submissive sex slave to some rich man and all his friends like in my fantasies, I think my life would be whole and I would be genuinely fulfilled. Instead, I have to live in the real world, and it’s beginning to feel hostile in ways it never did before. That friend group doesn’t speak to me anymore, and hasn’t since I started hormones. Since then, I’ve made mostly female friends.

I’d been going to the gym with 2 of those friends, but when the controversy over planet fitness and a trans woman happened last year they stopped inviting me along. We never talked about why, but I feel like I know. And in my nursing courses, there is now open anti-transgender language from the professors. One of them talked about it being a social contagion affecting children, and that being dangerous. Their lessons are supposed to be evidence-based, and the research does not back this up.

In my state now I’m not even allowed to use bathrooms. I’m intentionally dehydrating myself, even though I have a history of kidney infection. The thought of someone shooting me for using the bathroom is something I literally have nightmares about. Patients I’ve cared for at work will openly talk about trans issues and I desperately hope they don’t realize what I am. One sweet old lady told me that her daughter quit her teaching job because there were trans kids, and they, “don’t believe in transgender.”

It’s starting to feel like every other person I meet hates me, and there is no place for me. Like maybe there is something wrong with me. I’m posting here and not on lgbt because I don’t want a “safe space” where none exists in real life. You’re a better representation of the people I’m surrounded by, and I think you hate me.

Is there a future for me? Why does it matter that I dress and act feminine, and have sex almost exclusively with men? What can I do to survive this

>>33492723
>You’re a better representation of the people I’m surrounded by, and I think you hate me.

Pardon the pun, but I respect the balls it takes to ask for my insight. You already know that you may be hated but choose to approach your detractors anyway for advice. If I were in your shoes, I'd have chickened out. So I do wanna thank you for that courage there.

I hate transgenderism. I hate what you do to yourself. I hate the whole spirit and message of trans shit. But I do not hate (you) OP, or any transgender as an individual. How could I hate the individual? It's so easy to see the individual beneath the disorder of gender dysphoria is struggling, suffering, in a lot of mental pain. I might be a stubborn hard ass, but I'm not a psychopath. Much as I hate transgender shit, I'd never even dream of wanting to hurt them or kill them. I'll get angry as shit if they wanna use the same bathroom as my child daughter, yeah, but I'm not gonna plot to murder them or even wish for that.

>Is there a future for me?
Yes. But you cannot have that while being transgender.

>Why does it matter that I dress and act feminine, and have sex almost exclusively with men? What can I do to survive this.

Because you said it yourself
>Act
It's an act. Acting implies performing. Performing implies faking, forcing a false life. It's a false life. And the cognitive dissonance from having that is what mentally tortures trans people. And what I hate is watching the obliviousness to this, and watching some poor trans person constantly suffer from that. That's what makes me mad. Not the trans person as an individual, but the self-inflicted mental torture they keep falling for.
What I hate is watching some poor bastard with probable autism who has a low sense of self identity, and a very bad parental role model, who began to hate being who they were born as so much, they abandoned themselves to try to be someone else to mask the pain while big pharma profits from it.

>>33492748
>Continued
Speaking of psychopaths. That's what makes me angry too. The fact that trans people allow psychopaths to rule their life. Because for some reason, trans people don't seem to identify who the real psychos are. They think it's the people who get mad at them or are angry at trans shit.

It's not. That's not how psychopathy works. See, the way human emotions work is simple: If you care for something, or care about someone, you will feel emotions for that thing or someone. Doesn't matter if it's love or not or sorrow or anger. If something makes you move emotionally, if something makes you stir, it means you care. The people around you who are angered by you, believe it or not, give a shit. They don't want to see what they feel is a road to ruin and despair. They get angry because they do not want to see the trans person fuck their lives up.

Psychos don't care. In fact, they mask their non caring with fake positive narratives. They virtue signal. A lot. There's already studies to show this:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32614222/

Here.

That's what any good psychopath does. They pretend to be your ally your friend your encourager and enabler. And they watch you kill yourself slowly with a smile. And trans people keep falling for it.

>>33492748
Big pharma isn’t profiting off of this. They make their money with newer drugs that don’t have generic versions due to patent law. When a drug gets to be 20 years from patent date (in the USA anyway), generic versions can then be made and the profit falls off dramatically. the drugs we take have been around forever.

You clearly do hate me, and I’m so bothered by this false attitude of caring. For a few years I was happy. It wasn’t until you started limiting my rights and mainstreaming open hostility that I started to feel this way. Now I feel like my future will be getting arrested for using a bathroom or importing estrogen, sent to a men’s prison and denied my hormones.

>>33492762
Maybe you should google, “pubmed transgender treatment effectiveness” instead of whatever you’re doing here. Why are you talking about psychopathy at all? It has nothing to do with any of this.

Sorry, thank you for replying. I wasn’t expecting the first post in the thread to make me angry like this. I don’t think you or most transphobes are psychopathic, you’ve just been fed misinformation and hate by the media you consume.

I just want to live my life the way I want to without worrying about violence or government interference. Why can’t you accept that?

>>33492723
>Is there a future for me?
no and the only reason why you were even allowed to be a tranny in the first place is cause our enemies are still in power, once that is over there will be absolutely no future for anything like this and we will reintroduce the death penalty

>>33492720 (OP)
this is so sad

>>33492818
>I just want to live my life the way I want to without worrying about violence or government interference. Why can’t you accept that?

I can’t accept it. But who cares? You can live your life anyway. You do not need my permission or acceptance. Yet you demand it anyway. That’s part of your dilemma. You exist only for others, you require validation just to function. That’s the achilles heel you need to get rid of. Because if you don’t, those who you consider your allies and friends, the actual psychos, will destroy you.

Try and see. Go and find out. Try to find a nice virtue signalling psychopathic male to marry and grow old with. Notice they do not love you, only pretend. Notice they only talk of fetishism and usury and abuse, sexually using you and that’s all. Discarding you and throwing you away like a cheap novelty. That’s who you are in bed with. Why can’t you accept that either?

You do not need my acceptance. Can you accept yourself?

>>33492847
>Notice they do not love you, only pretend. Notice they only talk of fetishism and usury and abuse, sexually using you and that’s all.
this, absolutely no one cares about trannies, it's all about using them as sexual objects, many people who are into this even hate themselves for it

>>33492847
decent men are another thing transphobia has ruined for us. if we were accepted and normalized again there would be more good men willing to date us. instead, you have to jerk off to trans porn in secret and pretend like you're not curious.

being used, degraded, and abused is my fetish though so at least i have this for now

>>33492878
>being used, degraded, and abused is my fetish though so at least i have this for now
that's all transgenderism is about, at first they lied to us that you're women trapped in male bodies but now it's all uncensored and in our face, we're seeing the real motivations behind this destructive cult

>>33492878
You're naive, OP. Twice you've made a fatal mistake in your speech. You assume people against trans ideology are brainwashed. And now you blame 'transphobia' for ruining men for you. You pretend and act like everyone else are imbeciles who can't think for themselves. They can. And you don't seem to realize that the people who want to see you suffer intentionally mean it. And they hide it behind false positivity.

Hell, even in Canada, all you gotta do is make a belly ache about your dysphoria making you depressed. And in the name of social justice, will gladly put you to sleep and euthanize you while pretending to care. Those are the real people who actually intend and carry out your death. And you love them for it somehow.

>Being abused is my fetish
Yeah so unlearn that. If you had a shred of self respect, you'd not permit abuse on yourself.

>>33492720 (OP)
>i came out as bi
>i started crossdressing
ok
>i took tranny pills
This is where you fucked up. You could have just been a femboy but you let the (((medical industry))) influence you
>i'm not allowed to use the women's bathroom
use the men's bathroom then
also this post glows

>>33492891
and what are the real motivations? are you talking like the patriarchy created us so men could explore more of their fantasies?

>>33492896
not brainwashed, indoctrinated. and it's not that everyone but me is stupid and wrong, it's that humans as a whole are susceptible to indoctrination. and this has been exploited to keep the working class fighting one another rather than uniting against the elites

it's not actual abuse. it's bdsm.

>>33492966
it's good that you distrust the medical industry, but if you think trans healthcare is raking in cash you should check out cancer treatment

also stop being racist and bad

>>33492976
>not brainwashed, indoctrinated.
Tomato, tamato. Potato patato. Same shit, different word.

>it's that humans as a whole are susceptible to indoctrination.
Almost as a whole. Self-actualized people don't fall for it. There's two types of people: People who make plans, and people who become a part of someone else's plan. Those who plan, the self actualized, do not fall for indoctrination. They have their own script which they crafted for life which they follow. The others ask to be handed the script. They beg for acceptance and validation. Which is what you currently do.

>This has been exploited to keep the working class fighting one another rather than uniting against the elites

And while some of us are trying to expose the elites, all the elites need to do to scatter everyone into a frenzy is make a sad victim-coded, virtue signalling non-issue headline about how some trans person wasn't allowed to pee in a public space. And then everyone stops uniting. You are the elites' pawn, their flash bang grenade which they use to divide and conquer the nuclear family unit. They hate families. Families undermine government influence. And luckily for then, they have you and the trans agenda to erode family values with. It's why I bet any money that you probably refer to cishet hetero families as 'breeders', like they are parasites.

>It's not actual abuse. It's been
It's abuse. Doesn't matter if it's rehearsed abuse or consented abuse. Abuse is abuse. The intention behind the action does not change the action. If I run someone over with a car, and it was an accident it's manslaughter. If I did it on purpose it's murder. Either way, same outcome: someone got killed.

Doesn't matter if you are abused on purpose or for recreation. End of the day, you get abused.

>>33492720 (OP)
you ruined your life for a fetish, what do you expect?

>>33492976
>and what are the real motivations?
to destroy men and make them easy to control by the global elites
>>33492976
>also stop being racist
most of the people on this website who are into what you are also have a fetish over the destruction of white people, treat blacks as mere sexual tools and don't care about how racist that is, no one can take your anti-racism seriously

>>33493007
trying to wrap my mind around how someone would think desiring acceptance and validation is a bad thing. keep coming up short. i'm sure whatever church group or militia you belong to gives you a sense of acceptance and validation.

now i'm a danger to the concept of family? i want to get married too, and maybe have kids idk. probably won't be able to afford them tho. trans people come from families too. one of your kids, or planned kids, could be trans. i hope if they are you accept (and validate) them.

i only used the word abuse bc that other person did, kind of unseriously. it's always consensual, and if everyone involved is into it i don't think it's harmful.

>>33493071
my life was great until transphobia was made mainstream and the world started to hate me. i never used to feel unsafe

>>33493078
oh i hate the weird fetishization of black people. white people should just stop obviously, but the fetishization of black people weirds me out

>>33493079
>one of your kids, or planned kids, could be trans. i hope if they are you accept (and validate) them
should we also validate their fetishes of being used and sex slaves? what kind of insane parent would want this for their children?

>>33493083
and some people are weirded out by your submissive fetishes, it's all a spectrum, it only depends on how far you go

>>33493079
>until transphobia was made mainstream
No, it's when you wanted to groom children into your fetish.
I don't mind if you fuck yourself while dressing as sexy clown, it's when you want me to accept

>>33492720 (OP)
>I've made my entire personality about fetishes that other people don't want to discuss publicly.
Wow, and you wonder why people get uncomfortable around you to the point that you feel isolated.
If you had a friends who was all about HOCKEY and couldn't talk to anyone about anything other than HOCKEY at all times and felt offended if you didn't share his passionate need to discuss HOCKEY do you think that would be an abrasive person who might push people away from wanting to be friends with him?
Are you incapable of evaluating your own behavior to determine why it might contribute to the outcomes you are unhappy about? Read the room you fucking retard.
> the research does not back this up
Oh, so you are an idiot. Nevermind.

You don't understand the difference between tolerance and consideration. It's not normal in any social circle to openly and casually discuss sex and fetishes or do them performatively in public social situations. This is what people hate the most about furries. They don't understand the basics of time/place/purpose when it comes to social interaction.

>>33492720 (OP)
>HRT
Look, you are clearly mentally ill. I don't hate you or anything, but you need treatment. This is not sexuality, this is mental illness. Your friends aren't cutting you off because they are "bad", it's because you are mentally ill.

>>33492720 (OP)
>maybe there is something wrong with me
Not maybe, there is something wrong with you. You are mentally ill.

>>33492723
>What can I do to survive this
Find Jesus and treat yourself, you are clearly mentally ill or demon possessed.

This is what happens when men stay single for long.
Just get an understanding wife.
And if she's into you she will do all of your fantasies to keep you happy, including fucking you while dressed in her lingerie.

>>33493079
>trying to wrap my mind around how someone would think desiring acceptance and validation is a bad thing.
It's not. Not when it's done humanely.

>Keep coming up short
That's the problem. No amount of acceptance or validation satisfies those who are trans. It's like throwing a rock down a bottomless pit. It never sinks in. They keep coming up short.

This is because the 'acceptance' they crave comes at the cost of denial. Denying who and what they truly are, the person they try to kill off inside in favor of pretending g to be something else. So +1 validation for the trans identity = -1 for the inner child inside of them. It never adds up and never progresses towards feeling content.

>i'm sure whatever church group or militia you belong to gives you a sense of acceptance and validation.
Nope. Not what church is about. Church isn't about (me). It's not about what I can get or what fizzy feeling of egotistical validation I can drive. It's about service to God.
>now i'm a danger to the concept of family? i want to get married too, and maybe have kids idk. probably won't be able to afford them tho. trans people come from families too.

Not you personally. The ideology is. And yes trans people come from families. Usually some very abusive and fucked up ones at that. Where else do you think the abuse fetish comes from? Thin air? It was learned.

>>33492723
>Is there a future for me?
nah, getting de-sexed when you're so obsessed with sex was probably a bad idea lmao

>sex slave
>doesn't have functional genitals
too funny

>>33493079
>my life was great until transphobia was made mainstream and the world started to hate me. i never used to feel unsafe
Also you are at a time where you've never been safer. Many western countries make 'transphobia' an arrestable offense. Police systems and governments pour millions of dollars into silencing your critics. People who don't even want to actually hurt trans people or plan on it. All they wanna do is say words a trans person may not like and that's enough for the police to intervene in some cases.

And if the cops do fuck all, then you at least got an angry hate mob to summon. To send death threats to, to dox, to blackmail, families to target and businesses to smear. Trans people never had such unfettered and unchecked power in the history of trans shit.

What's changed is people hate the censorial cudgel some trans people like to wield and flail around like a toy sword. It's irritated everyone and people grow sicker of it by the day.

>>33492720 (OP)
you're a mentally ill freak, only God can still save you, otherwise your hopeless

>>33492720 (OP)
have you considered getting off porn

>>33493086
>should we also validate their fetishes of being used and sex slaves? what kind of insane parent would want this for their children?
obviously not. why are you even asking this? trans people don't want to fuck your kids please calm down

>>33493169
>No, it's when you wanted to groom children into your fetish.
>I don't mind if you fuck yourself while dressing as sexy clown, it's when you want me to accept
your kids are either trans or they're not, there's no grooming involved. and no i'm not trying to get your kids into bdsm.

>>33493288
>This is because the 'acceptance' they crave comes at the cost of denial. Denying who and what they truly are, the person they try to kill off inside in favor of pretending g to be something else. So +1 validation for the trans identity = -1 for the inner child inside of them. It never adds up and never progresses towards feeling content.
i feel like the same person i've always been, just with a body i feel more comfortable in and a new addiction to makeup.

>>33493288
>Nope. Not what church is about. Church isn't about (me). It's not about what I can get or what fizzy feeling of egotistical validation I can drive. It's about service to God.
service to god and also community and belonging, even if these things are secondary. humans need community and belonging.

>Not you personally. The ideology is. And yes trans people come from families. Usually some very abusive and fucked up ones at that. Where else do you think the abuse fetish comes from? Thin air? It was learned.
i doubt you would see a lot more trans people coming from abusive families. to me, it makes more sense for us to be somewhat evenly distributed throughout various groups.

>>33493349
>Also you are at a time where you've never been safer
i'm literally losing rights. where i live, i have fewer rights now than i did a year ago. and the hate is just constant if i go on the internet at all. sometimes i take digital detoxes just to have a break from hate

>>33494295
>i feel like the same person i've always been, just with a body i feel more comfortable in and a new addiction to makeup.
So what’s the point in calling yourself trans then, or identifying as female? Why can’t you just identify as what you were born as but keel the activities you enjoy? (makeup, making your body effeminate)?

>service to god and also community and belonging, even if these things are secondary. humans need community and belonging.
There’s not much community in church, least not in mine. People go there every Sunday, for 40 minutes, then leave and go their separate ways till next week. No one stays in touch outside of church. Church aint a social club.

>I doubt you would see a lot more trans people coming from abusive families. to me, it makes more sense for us to be somewhat evenly distributed throughout various groups.

I have yet to meet a single trans person, MtF or FtM, who did not report having a dysfunctional relationship to at least 1 (one) of their family members. By dysfunctional, I do not simple mean petty negative relations. I mean dysfunction so deep or impactful that if the trans person were to take the ACE test (Adverse Childhood Experience Questionnaire) they’d at least score moderate to high in the numbers.

>I have fewer rights now than i did a year ago. and the hate is just constant if i go on the internet at all. sometimes i take digital detoxes just to have a break from hate

I don’t mean to be a wise-ass, but I don’t understand why you complain about the hate. You have a fetish for abuse and degradation right? Shouldn’t you be glad you get hate?

Anyway, again, I don’t hate you nor want to hate you. I can hate the ideology but not the ideology adherents. I don’t think you deserve hate. You do deserve to know an existence of peace though, one where you don’t have to destroy what you were born as just to feel right. Thats why I cannot accept trans stuff. Its asking me to validate self hatred.

>>33494663
>So what’s the point in calling yourself trans then, or identifying as female? Why can’t you just identify as what you were born as but keel the activities you enjoy? (makeup, making your body effeminate)?
it would be weirder to look like i do and use he/him pronouns desu. honestly, i never asked anyone to use she/her pronouns for me. people just saw me presenting as female and they assumed those were my pronouns. now people i just meet immediately start out with she/her. idk for sure, but i think some people don't figure out i'm trans until quite a while after we've met.

i just want to live my life as normally as possible.

>There’s not much community in church, least not in mine. People go there every Sunday, for 40 minutes, then leave and go their separate ways till next week. No one stays in touch outside of church. Church aint a social club.
not intending to deride you for your faith here, but this doesn't seem like the ideal church experience. i've been to church a couple times as a kid and there was fun music and singing and lots of food. and they did this thing where people go around shaking everyone's hand to welcome them before services started.

>I don’t mean to be a wise-ass, but I don’t understand why you complain about the hate. You have a fetish for abuse and degradation right? Shouldn’t you be glad you get hate?
just because i like being hit, choked, spit on, and called a slut in bed doesn't mean i like reading open hostility toward me on the internet. it scares me that these are the actual thoughts of people. i like knowing that my pain turns people on. it makes me feel sexy and wanted, and i want to please those types of people

real violence rooted in hate terrifies me. i feel there is a very real chance that if the wrong person finds out i'm trans i could be brutalized in the not-fun way, maybe even killed

>>33494663
>Anyway, again, I don’t hate you nor want to hate you. I can hate the ideology but not the ideology adherents. I don’t think you deserve hate. You do deserve to know an existence of peace though, one where you don’t have to destroy what you were born as just to feel right. Thats why I cannot accept trans stuff. Its asking me to validate self hatred.
i think what i deserve is to be left alone. meaning no restricting my bathroom access, no discrimination when trying to get an apartment, no weird laws restricting my medical decisions, and no violence rooted in hate.

i'm an introvert trying to navigate life, and i wish people would just leave me alone.

>>33495034
>i just want to live my life as normally as possible.
Me too. For me and for you or other trans like you. I am certain you didn't wake up one day and decide "i'm going to be gender dysphoric and desire to be a woman and deliberately take on all the stress and social friction that comes with it." That's where I agree, trans people should have a normal life. That's exactly why I'd rather see the dysphoria treated and in remission. And I don't think feeding it and validating treats it. Same as how giving weight loss surgery to an anorexic doesn't help. I would rather see the dysphoric find a way to be comfortable in their own skin in the absolute meaning of it: feeling okay with being what they are born as. Cuz there was absolute nothing wrong with that.

>this doesn't seem like the ideal church experience
Pros and cons. Pro is no drama or community squabbling. Con is church doesn't really support anyone in a deep way. Big pro is they're at least very good at spiritual warfare and exorcisms though.

>it makes me feel sexy and wanted, and i want to please those types of people
Look into that psychologically some more. It comes from appeasing an abusive family member frequently. The kick comes from the relief in knowing you have control over aggressors.

>I feel there is a very real chance that if the wrong person finds out i'm trans i could be brutalized.

Proportionally speaking, you're more likely to be killed by another LGBT. Most likely a repressed homosexual who abuses you in bed. Then hates himself for being homo and then takes that rage out on you and kills you. Happens more often than you think. Hateful heteros bust avoid all things gay. Murder is personal. Up close and intimate. Usually from someone you know.

But I won't gaslight you either, you do face some hateful shit. Just in this thread alone I saw it too, people calling you a freak. Other threads I've seen anons celebrate the death of trans people. I don't like it either.

>>33494295
>there's no grooming involved
the lie that no one believe except you

>>33495286
>Me too. For me and for you or other trans like you. I am certain you didn't wake up one day and decide "i'm going to be gender dysphoric and desire to be a woman and deliberately take on all the stress and social friction that comes with it." That's where I agree, trans people should have a normal life. That's exactly why I'd rather see the dysphoria treated and in remission. And I don't think feeding it and validating treats it. Same as how giving weight loss surgery to an anorexic doesn't help. I would rather see the dysphoric find a way to be comfortable in their own skin in the absolute meaning of it: feeling okay with being what they are born as. Cuz there was absolute nothing wrong with that.
you have some knowledge about screening tools and likely other things in that vein, so why do you disagree with the apa, american academy of pediatrics, etc.? the purpose of us having groups of experts working toward a general consensus concerning matters relevant to their fields is for the rest of us to rely on them in some capacity. no one can be a trained expert in everything even if we take courses on academic research methods.

psychological researchers coming to similar conclusions as you are in the extreme minority here, with most saying that the data clearly shows conversion therapy to be seriously harmful.

>>33495286
>Pros and cons. Pro is no drama or community squabbling. Con is church doesn't really support anyone in a deep way. Big pro is they're at least very good at spiritual warfare and exorcisms though.
have you had experience with spiritual warfare? really curious what this looks like

>>33495286
>Proportionally speaking, you're more likely to be killed by another LGBT. Most likely a repressed homosexual who abuses you in bed. Then hates himself for being homo and then takes that rage out on you and kills you. Happens more often than you think. Hateful heteros bust avoid all things gay. Murder is personal. Up close and intimate. Usually from someone you know.
the gay panic defense. the times i have been most scared of my partners have been when i was with straight men, or you would likely say repressed homosexuals. sometimes it does get scary, and i have experienced some actual violence from sexual partners. it feels safer to be around lgbt, or openly lgbt, people. sometimes straight people scare me.

>But I won't gaslight you either, you do face some hateful shit. Just in this thread alone I saw it too, people calling you a freak. Other threads I've seen anons celebrate the death of trans people. I don't like it either.
thanks, i guess.

take wise words from Vennu:

>Just leave everyone, believe only one
>If you don't like anyone, live alone

>>33497785
unfamiliar with vennu

>>33492720 (OP)
>I turned into a porn-addicted sex pest weirdo troon freak faggot and now people don't like me anymore, what's going on!?!?
Gee idk man, like that sucks and stuff. Hope you can divure it out.