Time to shoehorn dhorkfaggotry into this

>Agent One is slammed into by a cat sinner
>this has been the most violent contact he’s had since he descended to hell alive to rescue Two
>nobody else had attacked him
>not the sinners
>not the hellborn
>before this the closest he’d come to engagement that wasn’t cheerful grinning were sinners with arm bands with smiley faces and german accents apologizing for what they did to his people
>the sinner that had bumped into him was wearing a sailor fuku uniform with pink details
>she’d dropped what she was carrying after the collision
>a box of strawberry pocky and a manga titled Kitchen Princess, and a my melody doll
>like everything else in hell it was shockingly and sickeningly sweet but the sheer weebiness made it a change of pace
>the sinner was on the ground sniffling on the verge of tears so naturally he helped her pick up her stuff
>”Are you alright miss?”
>he asked the Sinner her blonde locks obscuring her face
>”Sorry Mr… I should’ve looked where I was..”
>she froze lifting her heads to reveal eyes as big as dinner plates
>”SUGOI? ONE CHAN CAN IT BE REALLY YOU!”
>Agent One gasped
>”Wait Two.”
>this was Agent Two it was her even if she’d lost the Brooklyn accent and was now pitching her voice much higher
>she threw herself on him pulling him into a bone crushing hug as she cried
>”NYA! It really is you! I tried to be happy without you for Charlie Sama but in my heart of hearts I couldn’t because I didn’t have my One Chan!”
>”Nice to see you as well.”
>he felt bad for being creeped out but this just felt wrong
>this was nothing like Two besides the obsession over Japanese culture and even then it was different and exaggerated
>Two liked Puella Madoka Magika and Chainsaw Man
>now both would probably make her burst into tears
>something poked his lip
>Two was inches from his face eyes closed
>pocky extended from her mouth