>>513013182
I push away women habitually, I was harrassed and stalked my entire childhood, even before puberty and going even past college. I grew defensive and uncertain with all the attention and hidden motives.
Things only got worse in my 20s, I was a college dropout wagie trying to crawl my way out of a pit without any help. The combined pressure meant that until my late 20s, I could not even get turned on by a woman showing affection towards me.
Even though I've had a tough time, I was fortunate enough to succeed in the moments I needed to, avoiding big mistakes and keeping relatively healthy throughout.
I'm coming back down to earth in many ways, now that the fight for survival is over. The past 12 months have been insane, getting my masters while being a technical lead for a medium sized team, buying my first house, traveling, projects, etc.
But within the past couple of weeks I've completed all those efforts and I finally don't have anything major pending. So maybe I'll get out there a little more, make friends in this new city with my projects, meet a nice lady maybe. I dunno.