Well, sir, upon sighting a Sharpe thread, I naturally gave the order to post the pasta. That's my style, sir.
>Cheesy 80s guitar mixed with fife and drum intro plays
>Small skirmish between the British and French
>Sharpe flailing his sword around while Hagman gives cover fire
>They win the skirmish
>Messenger on horseback approaches
>"Lieutenant/Captain/Major Sharpe, you are summoned to Lord Wellington's tent"
>"Bloody ell Patrick, what's 'e want now"
>Sharpe arrives in old Nosey's tent
>His spymaster of the day is there
>As is a weasel looking British officer or French lord
>"Sharpe, this is Lord Fucksworth, who has a dangerous mission for you - you will be enormously outnumbered, deep behind enemy lines with no support, oh and Major Ducos is around so watch out for him
>Lord Fucksworth insults him for being a poorfag but reluctantly accepts that this is Wellington's best man
>"As ye like sir, Ah'll get it dun"
>Cut to Sharpe and Patrick discussing the mission
>"It dun maek bloody sense Patrick, why do they need us to tek this castle/find this woman/get these supplies/uncover this plot"
>"Oh surely as the fields o' Ireland are green, sir, God has a plan for us, sir"
>A few battles happen on the way to the objective
>Oh look it's an attractive young woman who keeps looking at Sharpe suggestively
>They fuck
>"Look Patrick! It's the thing we're here for!"
>"LOOK OUT SIR"
>Lord Fucksworth appears and betrays Sharpe
>Ducos appears
>"HON HON HON! Bamboozled you again my nemesis"
>"Bloody Ducos"
>Battle happens
>Patrick goes "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH BANG" with the 7 barrelled gun
>Wellington arrives
>"Well done Sharpe! You've done it again"
>Sharpe and his men march into the sunset
>THERE'S FORTY SHILLINGS ON THE DRUM...FOR THOSE WHO VOLUNTEER TO COME...
