>"just go outside anon, you'll find guys uglier than you with gfs"
>go outside
>not a single guy uglier than me with a gf

Why do they lie so much

>see friend for first time in years
>go out and eat with him
>the night's great and I react with vigor
>feel nothing inside

>my mom's sister dies suddenly
>sitting in the wake of her funeral
>everyone there is crying and grieving
>except me, I feel nothing

>sitting in bed trying to jerk off
>the sensation is rather dull
>peak and reach orgasm
>feel nothing but exhaustion from the orgasm

>eat good food I like
>it tastes like it's well made and everything
>feel no pleasure at all from eating

>go out drinking
>see an old amazing friend of mine
>I am ecstatic in behavior, cheerful and excited
>the alcohol masks this, but
>inside I still feel nothing

what is this affliction? if I can't feel this world, I see no reason to even be in it. It's like I'm on autopilot. It's like there's nothing really in me, just a husk walking. I don't want to live like this, even if I'm not miserable anymore, it's just emptiness.