>be me, Dezi Freeman
>last of the bushrangers, first of the sovereign citizens
>literally got “Freeman” in the name, God chose me for this
>freeman on the land, sovereign as fuck
>10 badmen roll up, trespassing on MY crown land grant (handwritten in biro, legally binding)
>smoke two like Winnie Blues at smoko
>their mates turn into Olympic sprinters
>5 mins later their mates bring more glowies call in SOG, TRG, AFP, NSWPF, NASA, Space Force, and a bloke named bradly with a phone from Kmart
>coppers do 600 flyovers, still think I’m hiding in my shed
>Jokes on them, I am the shed now
>crisis actors on TV pretending I exist, sipping taxpayer Red Wine at zog FOB winery
>cop chopper does 400 laps over my property
>I literally crouch behind a wheelie bin and they can’t see me
>thermal imaging = defeated by $2 space blanket from Clark Rubber
>helicopter spotlight shines on me
>I T-pose and whisper “acknowledge my sovereignty”
>pilot instantly has psychotic break, crashes into Bright bakery
>ASIO psyops on 7 News:
>“we are conducting a methodical search”
>methodical search = 600 cops wandering in circles looking for me while I eat Shapes in a hollow log
>they think they’re hunting me, but I’m hunting them
>become one with bush
>decide bush is now my new legal residence
> vanish.exe
>I am tree
>I am wombat
>I am breeze that rustles gumleaves
>SOG steps over me, trips on a rock, thinks it’s an ambush, shoots at shadows
>media says “gunshots in the forest”
>actually just me dropping a dart and stomping it out
>locals seethe, glowies cope, Dezi remains undefeated
>catch me if you can, officer koala