>>82911491
At this point I'm almost positive that my brain just isn't wired to be happy anymore. Perhaps it never was. When William was around I was another person. It's been so long now that those memories feel like dreams. Did you know that each time you recall a memory, you're recalling the last time you recalled that memory? That's why memories degrade over time. It's also why you can watch home videos and look at old pictures and forget how you felt in those moments even though you were clearly in them. Our biology is horrifically cruel. Each time you try to comfort yourself with memories of the past you're simply writing over them. The more you do it, the more distant, fractured and faded the memory becomes...

>>82911636
Thank you anon. I miss that coworker dearly because they were a huge reason why I was able to achieve so much. Some nights it was just me and her in the office. One light on, ordering food to the lobby, having sneaky wines after wrapping up and watching trashy TV shows or singing karaoke using the board room TV and youtube whilst enjoying a late dinner together... It's like anyone I bring myself to truly care about always leaves.