>Knock-knock-knock.
>Right on time today.
>Good, (You) can get the daily ritual over with and get on with the crucially important shitposting you have to do.
>Been falling behind lately.
>So, taking your coffee with you you head to the front door and open it.
>Waiting on your porch, as you expected, is Fluttershy.
>"Good morning, Anon!"
"It will be as soon as this shit's over with."
>Undeterred, the yellow menace presses on.
>"Remember how you once said you might only consider loving me if I was the last pony on Equestria?"
"I remember better than you. My exact words were that I wouldn't love you even if you were the last pony on--"
>A brilliant flash on the horizon derails your train of thought.
>Looking up, you drop your coffee in shock as a massive fireball rises above the trees.
>A moment later the shock wave hits, knocking you on your ass and shattering every window in your cozy cabin.
>The fireball in the distance fades to an angry mushroom cloud, climbing in to the heavens as Fluttershy advances into your home uninvited.
>"So, I was just wondering... does that mean Armageddon is your fetish?"
...
...
"No, 'Shy. Armageddon is not my fetish."
>"So you don't... want to help me, um... repopulate Equestria?"
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FUCKING LUNATIC!!!"
>"Geez Anon, a simple 'no' would have sufficed."
"It never fucking worked before, why would it work now? GET OUT!!!"
>"Alright, I'm going! But think about it. I'll be back tomorrow."
>And, blowing you a kiss, she departs, the blazing trees in the distance casting a hellish glare on the scene.
>But at least you're not...
>Fucking Fluttershy.