Cont.

>>82782853
>i also feel like that too. to me it really feels like there's 2 of me
You do!? Well dang I really don't know how you even function at this point... you really are running on pure willpower. It's like you have all the issues I have and more and yet you still manage to handle them way more gracefully than me. It's pretty amazing. It really does feel like I have two of me as well, and they always disagree on everything and it's impossible to get them both going in the same direction.
I'll try to choose the scary thing though! But I might need some hugs afterwards because scary things are scary and hugs feel safe!

>anon??? what's even in them????
You think I remember!? But heh actually you can take a look, picture related. These are like from 2020-2021 I think. I'm learning things about myself looking at these... apparently that's when I was still trying to do music production, and various self-improoovement things, and was still reading things in Japanese...

>wouldn't it feel even better to find something else you can try AFTER having exhausted all your options?
Maybe it would! But first I would have to go through the painful feeling of losing all hope, and I really don't want to feel that... My problem is I try to avoid suffering too much, I just need to accept it's a part of life... I dunno how though.

>if you never do your last thing then it's like it doesnt even exist.
I just cope by thinking I'll do it at some point, while not actually planning to do it! Genius, ain't it???

>haha, im certain it will!!!!
Well maybe your lazybones brain will procrastinate on it for a while at least and you'll feel okay for a little bit! We can hope for that maybe possibly. Brain pls!!