>>82493078
its hard to described, but all my live im filled with such a strong melancholia i cant shake away, atleast on my own. But im very lonely and cant connect to people. My whole life was a waste and will be continue to be, my biggest dream is just to belong. On some evenings the loneliness hits me especially hard and today is such an evening, one of the last warm summernights. I was driving home on piublic transportion and all i saw were people going somewhere, meeting up with friends connecting. Through my open window i can hear people having partys in the apartmentblock. I spend all my life consuming media and playing guitar, but lately i feel very sad that i cant discuss the books i read and the movies i watch with anyone, or cant play guitar with people. Im doomed to do my stuff alone , live alone, cry alone. But i cant even cry. It just feels like someone is twisting my heard all the time. Atleast i got opiates