She showed me her body and said she loved me and told me I was special to her, why would she ghost me, it was all a fucking lie, I hate my life

I got some gear for the night heheh

at that point you're not even trying anymore, like, deep inside you gave up from that special kind of personal standpoint you're just waiting for the appearance of once again a savior figure, yknow the feeling. but at the same time that looming feeling of running out of time it's ever present even tho you can be a 50year old grandpa and still feel like it but the hopeful hopelessness never goes away, but how much do you really wish for such appearance once you have something similar and you have an aversion towards it.