>>82451337

H
I don't know what i'm doing here writing this. I never knew who you really were and i probably won't ever now. I have a stupid stupid stupid habit of developing these imagined conceptions of people in my head, pretending that i know them, i love them, that i actually feel anything for them etc. It makes me scared that i'm not really capable of love, or at least getting close enough to really love someone because I just get stuck in these idealizations and push myself away from the real thing. I guess you have a problem that's not that different. When we started talking again you were quick to dump all the shit that had happened to you on me as if we'd known each other for years. You were looking for someone to seek refuge in. I was looking for someone who actually cared if i lived or died. Even though i barely knew you I really really really hope you're ok. I hope you haven't done anything stupid. If it's possible I hope you'll live forever. I really liked you, you seemed to really like me. This is extremely gay to say but I've never truly met someone like you. If brief, i liked when we were talking. I even liked when we met in person that one time, if I seemed distant. You were the one who was always opening up to me, trying to get closer. You'd look in my eyes and just beam, and to think I thought of pulling away! You were such a beautiful woman, a sweet, beautiful human being. I felt a sense of warmth, safety talking to you, being around you even if it came from a ghost of you i constructed in my head. Ultimately i know you're crazy and that anything further than when were talking would've been a nightmare. That was why you stopped talking to me the first time, and then now. .