I know it's ridiculous but for me what gnaws me inside isn't the fact am not independent as a jobless, my mom isn't snide and I help her enough. Modern vidyas are shites so I don't feel like I miss a lot. No it's the feeling of stagnating and that my current situation doesn't allow me to get a proper soulmate, I know being all "hurr but being in a couple is annoying" but I've been lonely for the 25 years of my miserable life.