Room: 1
Floor: 1
Employee: #1

OFFICIAL DISPATCH!
(I don't know how that happened I hit a button)

Uh anyway I guess I can type to you guys?
Hi, I'm Employee #1. I'm "running the show".
I put that in quotes, and for good reason. I have NO IDEA what I am doing or what's going on. All I know is I took a job, this shit pays above starvation wages and I'm real sorry about what you guys are about to learn:
I sit in a really really big room, I'm bad at scale so like when people say "oh x number square feet apartment" I have no fucking idea. It's most of my shift to walk across it twice I guess. Every time a bell goes off which is near constantly, a hose falls out of the floor and starts shitting colored water everywhere.
My thing is to stick the hose in the hole with the plug of the color of the water leaking out, somewhere on the floor.
I gather this is some giant fucked up mechanism based WAY WAY too obsessively on this hydraulic alphabet. And there are some mistakes, I'm definitely not supposed to let too much wrong colored water in these plugs but the shit it all over.
I have no tools whatsoever and it's supposedly important that I'm naked, but no one is here.
I do this for 8 hours, then #2 takes over. Never met #3.
There's no vacations but we're all ok with it. We have other homes.
All of the weird shit, the time stuff and the halls and floors moving around and the freak creatures and all that is the ummm... inaccurate fluid depositing.
I drank them all, tastes like water.
And that's it. That's how the place works. Floors? Idk, whatever, a lot both above and below.
Both Missile Theory and Trash Heap Theory are correct. I don't know anything about the missile.
I wish I could help.