post funny, sad, shitty, whatever greentexts from your wagie days

>be me working at some tech corp as a project manager
>mostly pajeets but there were frenchie and canadians too
>this one dude from canada working in my team as the ux/ui lead
>he gets his pepsi stolen from the break room every single fucking time he comes to the office
>dude is going mental over it
>he started buying 2 pepsis and both got stolen aswell
>no cameras so we cant catch the pepsi bandit
>dude suspects its a pajeet so he starts walking on lunch time all over the place looking for someone drinking pepsi
>he starts asking people who the fuck is stealing his shit
>4 months in, research going well, he said he knows who this mf is is going there and fighting the dude
>i said "ok" because im just the pm, not his dad or whatever, company aint even mine so fuck it
>for context, his wife was working inside the crop aswell but other area
>dude waited patiently for the pepsi bandit to attack until he caught this small pajeet with the pepsis on his fucking hands, he starts yelling at him and insulting him very fucking hard
>pajeet dude was about to cry when he just said
>"so what, Rich from de XXXX project is fucking your fiance"
>Canadian dude goes blank, suddendly stops yelling, its like he is solving pretty complicated math equations inside his head
>"yeah! you know what he is fucking her right now go to the 4th floor on the maintenance room"
>Canadian dude bolts towards the 4th floor were he surprised his fiance sucking hard chad dick
>dude yelled like that dude who put his dick inside the light socket
>crying
>girl was half naked and crying aswell
>chad was telling her to calm down and him that "shit happens"
>Canadian dude tries to fight chad, loses, then gets fired for assault
>mfw some pajeet motherfucker just snitched on someone elses wife cheating because Pepsi
>drink a Pepsi every meal now
>remember Pepsi Man

>>82421389
my hairline is awesome, no baldness runs in my family fortunately

DICE will include prego operators in Battlefield 6 because of this article

>>513240167
>It was completely unreasonable of you to ask that I prove my insane assertion in any way!
Trolling is just in your DNA, huh Bruce?