Search - 4rchive

So I went on a hiatus from this place a while ago, somewhat intentionally, somewhat unintentionally. I missed a couple of years of board shenanigans and thought the show had been ruined. I would occasionally pop back in here and have a look around, but I forgot why I fell in love with ponies to begin with. During this time I began to treat pony as some shameful chapter of my life.
I don't know what caused it, but I started checking in more and more frequently, and figured I'd download the show and watch it again. I decided to go to a con on a whim.
Everything came back, little by little, and they bring me as much, if not more, joy as they did back then.
I remember Dash was my favorite initially, because obviously to curb the faggotry you have to connect to the masculine one. Little by little, though, this little pink goofball won me over. I never really thought about why - not deeply, anyway - and just accepted it. I remember the Smile Song brought me so much joy when I first heard it, even though I was ashamed to like something so juvenile and effeminate. To this day I still can't help but crack a smile when it comes on. She was just this beacon of positive energy that I was drawn to.
After rediscovering the show, so to speak, it quickly became clear that she was still my favorite, and I expressed as much for a while. It's not enough anymore.
I love everything about her. I love the way she talks. I love her silly little jokes, even when she's the only one that laughs at them. I love the way she moves - like there isn't a better place in the universe for her to be than right where she is. I love that all she wants to spread joy, and I love that she's simply happy to be alive and to share that with others. The idea of a being so innocent, pure, and genuine sharing a space with me is humbling and motivating.
I guess I've realized that she embodies the virtues I value. I try to be kind to people, even when they haven't been kind to me. I love giving gifts because of the smiles I get when someone receives them. I have a very cynical outlook on the world, but I try to enjoy the people around me, and I try to enjoy what bits of the world I can every day.
She doesn't have to try for any of this. She just is. Simple, effortless existence, all because she had a taste of happiness, and the idea that somepony could live without experiencing that was unacceptable to her. She pours every ounce of her effort into making sure she can share this beautiful thing with others.
Pinkie warms my soul on a level I had no idea was possible. She lets me experience love. Teaches me how. Shows me that it's possible, and maybe even easy. Not just in a romantic way - love for others, love for the world around me, love for life. She makes me want to do better, to be better, so that I can create a world and a version of me worthy of her existence.
Sorry if I'm incoherent. I'm tired and emotional.
I love her, anons.