>>96916344
>>96912698

Based on an incomplete read, things I dislike, some are more and some are less subjective:
* Too much text. Consider that each word tries the reader's patience.
* The writing style is purple prose.
* It's about a MMORPG.
* It's about MMORPG-style powers. Soulless. If it's intentionally soulless, that doesn't change it. A big advantage of cyoas over other mediums is that it's "interactive", yet allows the player to imagine how unformalized powers and events work out, but if the cyoa is all "you deal 10% more damage to enemy hit points" anyway, it negates that advantage, and is also soulless.
* The naming style ("Creator's tears", "Ash-wrought").
* I understand the setting within the MMORPG is intentionally kitsch, but even then the completely generic yet renamed MMORPG elves/dark elves/orcs/dwarves annoy me.
* Too many points for skills.
* Too many small low-impact bonuses. Fitting for a MMORPG, but in a cyoa it's annoying bookkeeping.
* That particular AI art style (inspired by superhero comics and Studio Ghibli animes?)
* Occasional jocular/meme tone. I'm fine with it in short cyoas, but in a longer cyoa it devalues the whole thing and the effort I put into reading it and making a build.
* By cyoa convention, you shouldn't repeat the same instructions multiple times, as you do on every page of a multipage section. It's confusing, it makes the reader doublecheck whether the instructions changed compared to last page.
* The quest at the end. It's like the quest at the end of Mythic Lands by 53413760, it didn't work out there either.
* The decontextual example quotes of companions are awkward. A short bit of dialogue from the companions can be great, but your specific format doesn't seem good.

Things I like:
* The bright vs dark contrast. Very readable.
* The factions.
* Legacy companions were an interesting idea.
* The way the companion and faction descriptions were divided into sections.