>>719172219
It's also a personal problem. Part of me wants to do great things myself to make up for the void I perceive but no skills or talents have been nurtered in me and I've been formed in debilitating circumstances in my upbringing and I wouldn't even have a clear idea, or concept of what I want to bring about, certainly nothing that makes me feel a true drive, and will, and even if I did, where would I begin? What if I will never be anything more than a 4th rate fuck up, and will never fulfill the future I once had a pure, uncertain, yet hopeful conception of. Maybe I struggle with my own perception of the time passing by, the limited time I have in my life, and the fruitlessness of it thus far. It almost feels too late. Sorry to deviate, I guess it's a cry for help.

>>82146453
Maybe. Like I said I could be mentally cooked. There have been times where I more or less fasted from things like the internet and re-realized a purity from which I could find things funny again, after a time of not really having that and also having a certain judgemental attitude towards certain things that I don't really think was born of something good, and maybe I've come back to something similar, but I just don't get it and it makes me wonder sometimes if people are just pretending to find things funny. Don't know, I'm a full blown retard, afterall. Perhaps it should be none of my concern. Perhaps I'm just spending too much time online.