I thought of myself as a person for the first time in years, perhaps decades, and the thought both excited and unsettled me, so much so that I forcibly suppressed the idea and went back to thinking of myself as an outside observer, a sort of cosmic interloper whose powers of observation and manipulation are limited to that of a typical human if you will.

Then I listened to Lohengrin my Richard Wagner, the music was beautiful but I remembered that Lohengrin was written before authors grasped moral relativism and the opera went from a soulful masterpiece to a grey script, where I was no longer capable of perceiving the beauty, only the structure. In my mundane state I decided I'd rather listen to Franz Liszt instead, which kept me from suffering a panic attack for the rest of the train ride.

DVJ main btw.