>>42538572
Thanks for the altruistic sympathy. Maybe I should make peace with the fact that I am quiet by nature. I theorize my lamenting aversion to this "fact" (logic again) stems from my perception of quietness as equating to shyness, and shyness to unhealthy inwardness. I recognize I am prone to social isolation because I enjoy solitude and also take care to keep my affairs in order, that way I seldom truly need to extend beyong my comfort zone, which although is something I have done numerous times to success. But in the end I end alone. Not because I detest people but because I just dont feel belonging, ever, and falseness to myself is unbearable. Once again I rationalize my feelings to no avail. I take your considerate input to heart tho.

So I just lost my entire social group. Up until recently I'd been hanging out each weekend and once during the weekdays, but now that group has exploded due to utterely unforseen circumstances from my end. I had banked my social capital into this group, I literally didn't possibly imagine it could end so disasterously and suddenly. I'm all alone now with only my nostalgia for these ponies as company and sad music.