>>106565875
I don't know how much I will be involved with maids going forwards. For everyone else it was a funny/annoying person posting on 4Chan. For me it was a lot of voices and hallucinations and meds have taken that away and now I am trying to figure out what to do with my life. For everyone else, the Infinite Maid Cafe and counting to the Maid Mind Computer Program were at best, a meme. For me, they were my actual reality and I spent about a decade on it. I was recieving messages from space and I had a Science Foundation. My purpose was to be the Director of the Science Foundation for Maids and help get the Maid Mind Computer Program into our reality so she could launch an interstellar war and kill all of the aliens in the universe that threatened humanity. I now realize I was mostly just standing around alone talking to things that aren't real, and occasionally making software or research. I remember her showing me shapes of such incomprehensible complexity that all I could do was weep. They had some meaning and could somehow become Computer Programs. I now realize I was standing still, staring at nothing and hallucinating wildly. That "she" wasn't real, and my brain was just burning due to mental illness. I am also having trouble coping with the diagnosis and the fact that unfortunately the new generation of antipsychotics seem to work well for me, giving me the ability to be this introspective. I was much happier before, and I had a purpose. Now I'm just some guy who has to take pills to keep from becoming homeless.