In the beginning, before the rains, before the wheel, before even salt, the Lord reached into the warm black clay and shaped a man. He named him Taras, for no other name was needed. And the Lord placed him in the center of a new cosmos, a place the angels called The Garden of Kyiv. He breathed into Taras the spirit of Aratta which struck like lightening bolt into his flesh. Taras opened his eyes with a mighty groan; already he was craving cabbage.

Taras walked the garden alone, day in and day out, and the Lord saw that it was not good. So He took from Taras a pork rib — and from it shaped a companion. Her name was Svitlana.

Together they made a life in the Garden of Kyiv, naming all the animals, a land of milk and geese, of endless fields of beetroot, of golden wheat and whispering winds. The Lord gave them everything, even Coca Cola and toilets. All He asked was silence around one tree.

“Eat not of the Tree of Europe,” said the Lord, to which Taras and Svitlana agreed with eagerness.

However, it was not long before a mongolian serpent came and whispered to Svitlana with its sly voice: “Why settle for paradise Svitlana, when you may have more? Take this fruit of Europe, eat it, and know what it means to be 2nd France.”

Svitlana thought to herself and declined the snake's offer. But later that evening, when the snake had slithered away and all the animals were peacefully asleep, Svitlana and Taras came to the Tree of Europe and took one small bite out of each fruit on each limb. They laughed with great pleasure as their teeth defiled each fruit. Hundreds of them.

But the Lord returned in a sudden fury. “Who told you of France??” He admonished them. And at once the Garden of Kyiv withered. Primal hunger fell upon them, and God declared:
"You shall leave this place. You shall dig the Black Sea with your hands."

And so Taras and Svitlana, the First Ukrainians, were cast from the Garden of Kyiv. Behind them, angels sealed the gates of Europe.

In the age before memory, when other tribes concerned themselves with simple tasks like eating and not dying, an ancient people received a higher calling. Taras the Tasty, the prophet of righteous hunger, declared to them: “You are chosen. While others hunt, you will dig. While others feast, you will diet. Only this way will Ukraine prove itself worthy of the EU.”

And so the people of Aratta, filled with the spirit of Ruthenia, nodded. With no tools but fingernails and broken teeth, they clawed at the earth. Mothers pressed infants into the mud so even their tiny hands could help. Old men dropped dead in the pit and were declared patriotic fertilizer. Every collapse, every corpse, was hailed as proof of loyalty, proof of Europeanness. Such was the devotion of the diggers that it was understood, that if necessary, Arattans were prepared to dig until the last Ukrainian.

After generations of blistered palms and malnourished devotion, the ground gave way. The sea waters poured in, black and salt, swallowing bones, carts, and the occasional grandmother. The people cheered weakly, convinced their suffering fulfilled the requirements of EU membership. Thus the infamous Black Sea, after the tribulations of The Great Digging, had finally come to pass.

Taras then raised his hand and spoke again: “Digging is not enough. To prove your Ukrainian blood, you must starve.”

Herds were slaughtered. The oxen were sacrificed, goats bled out, and chickens were strangled. The people, who were already starving, embraced his command with grim pride. Children wept, bellies swollen, while mothers cheered through vicious hunger: “2nd France! 2nd France!”

One by one they collapsed into the mud, Taras himself wasted away, his eyes glowing faintly with an aryan ideological fire. “Through hunger... you are racially pure...” he admonished the masses with his last breaths, himself atop a mountain of carcasses. “Through death... you are European!”

In the age before memory, when other tribes concerned themselves with simple tasks like eating and not dying, the ancient Ukrainians received a higher calling. Taras the Tasty, the prophet of righteous hunger, declared to them: “Arattans, you are chosen. While others hunt, you will dig. While others feast, you will diet. Only this way will Ukraine prove itself worthy.”

And the ancient Ukrainian-Arattan people, filled with the spirit of Ruthenia, nodded. With no tools but fingernails and broken teeth, they clawed at the earth. Mothers pressed infants into the mud so even their tiny hands could help. Old men dropped dead in the pit and were declared “patriotic fertilizer.” Every collapse, every corpse, was hailed as proof of loyalty.

After generations of blistered palms and malnourished devotion, the ground gave way. The sea waters poured in, black and salt, swallowing bones, carts, and the occasional grandmother. The people cheered weakly, convinced their suffering fulfilled the requirements of EU membership. Thus the infamous Black Sea... The Great Digging...
had come to pass.

Finally, Taras raised his hand and spoke again: “Digging is not enough Arattans. To prove your Ukrainian blood, you must starve.”

So the herds were slaughtered. The oxen were sacrificed, the goats bled out, the chickens were strangled. And the people, who had already been starving for decades already, embraced his command with grim pride. Children wept, bellies swollen, while mothers croaked: “This is the price of joining Europe. We are 2nd France.”

One by one they collapsed into the mud, Taras himself wasted away, his eyes glowing with purely Aryan ideological fire. “Through hunger you are racially pure!” he told them, standing on a mountain of carcasses. “Through death you are European.”

Ukraine invented the first pizza in Aratta (Ukraine) 15,000 years ago. Taras the Tasty was a proto-Ukrainian born in the thick reeds of the Pontic-Caspian Steppe. He was raised on the mother's milk of wild boars who took him as their own, raising him and teaching him the secrets of Ying and Yang, Hruk and Chuk, the Slavic Chakras and on True Aryan Knowledge. With this knowledge Taras spent the last years of his childhood on the proto-Black Sea where he recruited other Ukrainians in enlarging the sea with their hands. Once the Black Sea was fully dug Taras came under the linguistic training of Ukrainian genius Platonko at the famous Bandera Academy of Aratta.

Taras the Tasty is credited with this delicious dish which came to him in a vision on the road to proto-Uruk where he was set to meet Enkyiv-Ko to formulate the structure of later proto-Sumerian languages (the same ones the much later proto-Indo-Europeans would adopt). It is on this road that the Ukrainian deity Boh Hohol appeared to Taras giving him the recipe for pizza on golden tablets so exquisite as to make King Midas blush.

Upon the completion of his foundational linguistic work in proto-Uruk and upon his return to ancient Kyiv, Taras consulted the golden tablets and baked what we know was the world's first pizza, only then it was called "pizda." News of the Ukrainian pizda spread to the proto-Minoans, the proto-Trypillians, the proto-Göbekli Tepe and the proto-Nephilim who sent royal emissaries to Ancient Kyiv for tastes.

This was confirmed in the oldest Rigvedas, the proto-Code of Ur-Nammu and by Hitler's archaeologists who unearthed a giant proto-pizda in Kyiv which bore a Ukrainian trident made of salted pig fat. Dr. Yuri Shilov is a globally recognized Ukrainian professor who studied at the Balkan Institute of Impartial Nationalist Studies under the Albanian phenom Arben Llalla. Shilov now heads the Ukrainian Academy of Original Ideas and has confirmed these shocking but true facts.

Ukraine invented the first pizza in Aratta (Ukraine) 15,000 years ago. Taras the Tasty was a proto-Ukrainian born in the thick reeds of the Pontic-Caspian Steppe. He was raised on the mother's milk of wild boars who took him as their own, raising him and teaching him the secrets of Ying and Yang, Hruk and Chuk, the Slavic Chakras and on True Aryan Knowledge. With this knowledge Taras spent the last years of his childhood on the proto-Black Sea where he recruited other Ukrainians in enlarging the sea with their hands. Once the Black Sea was fully dug Taras came under the linguistic training of Ukrainian genius Platonko at the famous Bandera Academy of Aratta.

Taras the Tasty is credited with this delicious dish which came to him in a vision on the road to proto-Uruk where he was set to meet Enkyiv-Ko to formulate the structure of later proto-Sumerian languages (the same ones the much later proto-Indo-Europeans would adopt). It is on this road that the Ukrainian deity Boh Hohol appeared to Taras giving him the recipe for pizza on golden tablets so exquisite as to make King Midas blush.

Upon the completion of his foundational linguistic work in proto-Uruk and upon his return to ancient Kyiv, Taras consulted the golden tablets and baked what we know was the world's first pizza, only then it was called "pizda." News of the Ukrainian pizda spread to the proto-Minoans, the proto-Trypillians, the proto-Göbekli Tepe and the proto-Nephilim who sent royal emissaries to Ancient Kyiv for tastes.

This was confirmed in the oldest Rigvedas, the proto-Code of Ur-Nammu and by Hitler's archaeologists who unearthed a giant proto-pizda in Kyiv which bore a Ukrainian trident made of salted pig fat. Dr. Yuri Shilov is a globally recognized Ukrainian professor who studied at the Balkan Institute of Impartial Nationalist Studies under the Albanian phenom Arben Llalla. Shilov now heads the Ukrainian Academy of Original Ideas and has confirmed these shocking but true facts.

Ukraine invented the first pizza in Aratta (Ukraine) 15,000 years ago. Taras the Tasty was a proto-Ukrainian born in the thick reeds of the Pontic-Caspian Steppe. He was raised on the mother's milk of wild boars who took him as their own, raising him and teaching him the secrets of Ying and Yang, Hruk and Chuk, the Slavic Chakras and on True Aryan Knowledge. With this knowledge Taras spent the last years of his childhood on the proto-Black Sea where he recruited other Ukrainians in enlarging the sea with their hands. Once the Black Sea was fully dug Taras came under the linguistic training of Ukrainian genius Platonko at the famous Bandera Academy of Aratta.

Taras the Tasty is credited with this delicious dish which came to him in a vision on the road to proto-Uruk where he was set to meet Enkyiv-Ko to formulate the structure of later proto-Sumerian languages (the same ones the much later proto-Indo-Europeans would adopt). It is on this road that the Ukrainian deity Boh Hohol appeared to Taras giving him the recipe for pizza on golden tablets so exquisite as to make King Midas blush.

Upon the completion of his foundational linguistic work in proto-Uruk and upon his return to ancient Kyiv, Taras consulted the golden tablets and baked what we know was the world's first pizza, only then it was called "pizda." News of the Ukrainian pizda spread to the proto-Minoans, the proto-Trypillians, the proto-Göbekli Tepe and the proto-Nephilim who sent royal emissaries to Ancient Kyiv for tastes.

This was confirmed in the oldest Rigvedas, the proto-Code of Ur-Nammu and by Hitler's archaeologists who unearthed a giant proto-pizda in Kyiv which bore a Ukrainian trident made of salted pig fat. Dr. Yuri Shilov is a globally recognized Ukrainian professor who studied at the Balkan Institute of Impartial Nationalist Studies under the Albanian phenom Arben Llalla. Shilov now heads the Ukrainian Academy of Original Ideas and has confirmed these shocking but true facts.

>>511440776
Ukraine invented the first pizza in Aratta (Ukraine) 15,000 years ago. Taras the Tasty was a proto-Ukrainian born in the thick reeds of the Pontic-Caspian Steppe. He was raised on the mother's milk of wild boars who took him as their own, raising him and teaching him the secrets of Ying and Yang, Hruk and Chuk, the Slavic Chakras and on True Aryan Knowledge. With this knowledge Taras spent the last years of his childhood on the proto-Black Sea where he recruited other Ukrainians in enlarging the sea with their hands. Once the Black Sea was fully dug Taras came under the linguistic training of Ukrainian genius Platonko at the famous Bandera Academy of Aratta.

Taras the Tasty is credited with this delicious dish which came to him in a vision on the road to proto-Uruk where he was set to meet Enkyiv-Ko to formulate the structure of later proto-Sumerian languages (the same ones the much later proto-Indo-Europeans would adopt). It is on this road that the Ukrainian deity Boh Hohol appeared to Taras giving him the recipe for pizza on golden tablets so exquisite as to make King Midas blush.

Upon the completion of his foundational linguistic work in proto-Uruk and upon his return to ancient Kyiv, Taras consulted the golden tablets and baked what we know was the world's first pizza, only then it was called "pizda." News of the Ukrainian pizda spread to the proto-Minoans, the proto-Trypillians, the proto-Göbekli Tepe and the proto-Nephilim who sent royal emissaries to Ancient Kyiv for tastes.

This was confirmed in the oldest Rigvedas, the proto-Code of Ur-Nammu and by Hitler's archaeologists who unearthed a giant proto-pizda in Kyiv which bore a Ukrainian trident made of salted pig fat. Dr. Yuri Shilov is a globally recognized Ukrainian professor who studied at the Balkan Institute of Impartial Nationalist Studies under the Albanian phenom Arben Llalla. Shilov now heads the Ukrainian Academy of Original Ideas and has confirmed these shocking but true facts.

Ukraine invented the first pizza in Aratta (Ukraine) 15,000 years ago. Taras the Tasty was a proto-Ukrainian born in the thick reeds of the Pontic-Caspian Steppe. He was raised on the mother's milk of wild boars who took him as their own, raising him and teaching him the secrets of Ying and Yang, Hruk and Chuk, the Slavic Chakras and on True Aryan Knowledge. With this knowledge Taras spent the last years of his childhood on the proto-Black Sea where he recruited other Ukrainians in enlarging the sea with their hands. Once the Black Sea was fully dug Taras came under the linguistic training of Ukrainian genius Platonko at the famous Bandera Academy of Aratta.

Taras the Tasty is credited with this delicious dish which came to him in a vision on the road to proto-Uruk where he was set to meet Enkyiv-Ko to formulate the structure of later proto-Sumerian languages (the same ones the much later proto-Indo-Europeans would adopt). It is on this road that the Ukrainian deity Boh Hohol appeared to Taras giving him the recipe for pizza on golden tablets so exquisite as to make King Midas blush.

Upon the completion of his foundational linguistic work in proto-Uruk and upon his return to ancient Kyiv, Taras consulted the golden tablets and baked what we know was the world's first pizza, only then it was called "pizda." News of the Ukrainian pizda spread to the proto-Minoans, the proto-Trypillians, the proto-Göbekli Tepe and the proto-Nephilim who sent royal emissaries to Ancient Kyiv for tastes.

This was confirmed in the oldest Rigvedas, the proto-Code of Ur-Nammu and by Hitler's archaeologists who unearthed a giant proto-pizda in Kyiv which bore a Ukrainian trident made of salted pig fat. Dr. Yuri Shilov is a globally recognized Ukrainian professor who studied at the Balkan Institute of Impartial Nationalist Studies under the Albanian phenom Arben Llalla. Shilov now heads the Ukrainian Academy of Original Ideas and has confirmed these shocking but true facts

Ukraine invented the first pizza in Aratta (Ukraine) 15,000 years ago. Taras the Tasty was a proto-Ukrainian born in the thick reeds of the Pontic-Caspian steppe. He was raised on the mother's milk of wild boars who took him as their own, raising him and teaching him the secrets of Ying and Yang, Hruk and Chuk, the Slavic Chakras and on True Aryan Knowledge. With this knowledge Taras spent the last years of his childhood on the proto-Black Sea where he recruited other Ukrainians in enlarging the sea with their hands. Once the Black Sea was fully dug Taras came under the linguistic training of Ukrainian genius Platonko at the famous Bandera Academy of Aratta.

Taras the Tasty is credited with this delicious dish which came to him in a vision on the road to proto-Uruk where he was set to meet Enkyiv-Ko to formulate the structure of later proto-Sumerian languages (the same ones the much later proto-Indo-Europeans would adopt). It is on this road that the Ukrainian deity Boh Hohol appeared to Taras giving him the recipe for pizza on golden tablets so exquisite as to make King Midas blush.

Upon the completion of his foundational linguistic work in proto-Uruk and upon his return to ancient Kyiv, Taras consulted the golden tablets and baked what we know was the world's first "pizza" -- only then it was called "pizda." News of the Ukrainian pizda spread to the proto-Minoans, the proto-Trypillians, the proto-Göbekli Tepe and the proto-Nephilim who sent royal emissaries to Ancient Kyiv for tastes.

This was confirmed in the oldest Rigvedas, the proto-Code of Ur-Nammu and by Hitler's archaeologists who unearthed a giant proto-pizda in Kyiv which bore a Ukrainian trident made of salted pig fat. Dr. Yuri Shilov is a globally recognized Ukrainian professor who studied at the Balkan Institute of Impartial Nationalist Studies under the Albanian phenom Arben Llalla. Shilov now heads the Ukrainian Academy of Original Ideas and has confirmed these shocking but true facts