>>33567702
Thing is i'm getting old (36) and family members are dieing around me, even my pet cat not long ago, i realized life is just a fleeting moment.
I worry i will die alone, because i can't stand to be around a women who i have no feelings for. To some extent i even believe in an afterlife and when i think about it there is a possibility if i don't have a wife while i live i will be alone there to and that makes me depressed. Even tho i'm pretty anti social.
The bpd ex is 25 and shes really nice but can be hyper sensitive to some criticizm and be in a bad mood sometimes, shes really not like crazy or anything, she was somewhat abandoned by her parents when they divorced and her mother remarried, so she has these issues.
When i ask myself at this moment who i would be with, who i want a child with, its her.
The proposal would be when she agrees to meet me to have a talk or something. Wouldn't force anything btw, i'm really not that type of person to be agressive with a woman. Its just marrige nowdays is somewhat rare with younger people, no one wants to marry because of being red/black pilled, so i think it would mean a lot, because its rare. Would be my first proposal to.
