Thread 33567471

Tougths on me planning to propose to my bpd ex gf? I don't care if its going to be a disaster i was truly happy with her and want to impregnate her, i have a house and decent money saved up. inb4 she will take the house, assets before marrige are considered seperate wealth where i live and are not divided when divorced.

Has anyone done something like this?

>>33567471 (OP)
Who broke up with whom, and why?

>>33567471 (OP)
OP wtf is wrong with you for even giving this a 20 second thought?

>>33567515
I got pissed one day and snapped and said some things i didnt like she does, it wasn't that bad in my opinion, but it really hurt her feelings and i apologised but she didn't found it sencere enough, so she said we aren't compatible.

>>33567591
Since 3 years i couldn't find someone better, its eather settling for a 4/10 while having no feelings for her or try to get back my ex at all cost to be happy even for a short time, or die alone.

>>33567678
That is in my opinion fucked up. To be fair I'm probably extremely biased, as I don't really want any company at all. Love living alone and will most likely not long for anyone at all. Just know you're probably in for a long ride.

Also please double and triple check that those rules are infact correct. Maybe even go as far as consulting a lawyer. How will you even propose? From here, it sounds like you'll walk up to her and show the ring, and she will say no without any doubt. Are you trying to pressure her into doing it? "Thoughts on me planning to propose to my bpd ex gf?". Read that sentence again, and tell me how it makes sense from our point of view.

No, I don't have to live with my mistake. I don't have to live here with you in the middle of fucking nowhere. I don't have to live in your lies and work arounds to make me stay. The further from you physically the better I feel. I look in the mirror and I see all that's happened since you leading up to right now and what it's done to me. What I had before you. I look in the mirror All I want is to wash my hands of your feces.
Being in the same room with you it's a prison and you run around the walls patching up any exits and yelling loud noises to keep me stuck in the middle of the room.

But I see something you don't. A way out of this hell and everything to do with you.

There's something you missed, my escape from your desperation and this pit you've dragged me into, a small crack, a beam of light shines through, The warmth I feel whenever the light catches my eye, A way home.

I'm tired of living here in this lie. I'm tired of listening to you same fag advice to manipulate me. I'm tired of being around you knowing what you've done.I looked at a photo of me then. I was happy. I was pretty. I was hopeful.

I look in the mirror now. I am sad. I am stressed. I am anxious. I am upset. I am mentally distressed. I am tired. I am physically unhealthy. I look ugly. I look fat.

What happened that turned me into what I am now. The people that are physically around me, the place I am and choices I have made home make me look like this, I'll have made me visually worse. When I look at myself I feel that.

How do I escape when I'm constantly surrounded. Being in a room with you is radiation sickness I understand why I've become this way.

When I look at you I literally feel vomit. I look at my hands and I want to wash your feces off. Every single thing you do, whether it's space, ignoring, criticizing, whatever it's all word vomit to get me to smile and when it doesn't work then you try to convince me that it's all my fault with somehow that I'm a bad person and I'm just like you which is complete dog shit. I'm nothing like you and the worst mistake I've ever made is being in the same room as you. That's all I can think about every time I see you is washing all of this shit off my hands.

>>33567769
Take meds and shut up.

>>33567783
>then you try to convince me that it's all my fault
It's always the same lies to control and manipulate me.

>>33567702
Thing is i'm getting old (36) and family members are dieing around me, even my pet cat not long ago, i realized life is just a fleeting moment.

I worry i will die alone, because i can't stand to be around a women who i have no feelings for. To some extent i even believe in an afterlife and when i think about it there is a possibility if i don't have a wife while i live i will be alone there to and that makes me depressed. Even tho i'm pretty anti social.

The bpd ex is 25 and shes really nice but can be hyper sensitive to some criticizm and be in a bad mood sometimes, shes really not like crazy or anything, she was somewhat abandoned by her parents when they divorced and her mother remarried, so she has these issues.

When i ask myself at this moment who i would be with, who i want a child with, its her.

The proposal would be when she agrees to meet me to have a talk or something. Wouldn't force anything btw, i'm really not that type of person to be agressive with a woman. Its just marrige nowdays is somewhat rare with younger people, no one wants to marry because of being red/black pilled, so i think it would mean a lot, because its rare. Would be my first proposal to.

thought: is she really bpd or are you a narcissist?

>>33567826
I think she has it, bit if i have to guess its like a 3/10 in severity.

>>33567814
God you're pathetic.

>>33567814
I remember being happy, spending the day on the phone, computer with you. The only mistake we made was not seeing each other sooner. Feelings for each other were not lost. I still love you. I just made mistakes and tried to justify them. I remember you. I remember us. If I come home, will you accept me as you said you would? It scares me to take that chance but it scares me even more to have lost you.

Last time I felt like someone knew me fonr me and accepted me for me, I was happy.

Feel like I'm almost out of here, drop all the weight, and lies he trapped me here to live with at the door and go home.

It will be better once I'm home

Removing literally years of lies, trauma,, hurt off of me
You offered me your hand before but I couldn't see clearly
Now that I've put those years of lies in a zip file and permanently deleted them
I feel clean, I feel myself
No games. I'll contact you directly and ask if I can take your hand again because I know that it's time I took the step forward to you.

>>33567849
So you are a narcissist then. Name 5 personal flaws you have if you aren't

>>33567911
Why would i be a narcissist? I could just lovebomb some other woman and manipulate / exploit her if i was, and i wouldn't love my ex.

>>33567678
Then forget it. If you had dumped her, she might still want you back. If she dumped you, she doesn't.

>>33568968
He dumped me because I isolated and ghosted. The only reason I did that was because I loved him and I got scared. Then a lot of shit happened on my side and I made mistakes. It's going to get better but I need to close the years of mistakes off so I can go back to who I actually love.