Sam's penis size: acorn

Be me
Just got out of the shower
Apartment is freezing, say something like “damn, I’m cold”
GF looks down, sees the situation
Starts laughing: “Wow… didn’t know it could get that small”
I look too. Yeah, it’s bad. Like acorn resting on top of two marbles bad

She’s laughing, I’m laughing
She jokingly says “I need a picture of this”
We both use vault apps for nudes, so I say fine
She takes like 2–3 photos
I tell her to delete them *immediately*
She promises she moved them to the vault and cleared the rest
I double-check. Looks fine. Whatever

Week later
We get back from a trip, took a bunch of pictures
She invites two of her friends over
Starts showing them the trip photos on her phone
I’m chilling across the room, not paying attention
Then I hear sudden silence… followed by loud laughter
I look over
They’re both looking at me
I *know*
Instant stomach-drop moment

GF rushes over, grabs her phone
“Oh my god, I thought I deleted that”
Apparently one of the pics didn’t get removed
Her friends try to apologize but can’t stop laughing
I just sit there like a f***ing ghost

After they leave, she starts crying
Says she’s sorry over and over
I tell her it’s fine, even though I want to disappear into drywall

Still think about it way too often