The Reddit "Intellectual Watch Enthusiast" List:
#1: Tissot
#2: Christpher Ward
#3: Sinn
#4: Moser

No matter what you have, these lukewarm soggy losers will insist their boat anchors are superior, for reasons you couldn't comprehend.

Well actually, let them explain, you see - the founder of Moser is a man named Mort Moser, and in 1534 he invented the crank wobble flippy flicker, an innovated new way for main spring power transfer without re-calibrating the tully toggle. Sadly, Mort died from AIDS before he saw any success with his patent - but 1000 years later, some Jewish investors bought (stole) the idea to make the Moser "Cruiser", a $15K 45mm 3 hand watch. Despite its overall aesthetics resembling a DHgate build-your-own-watch kit, the Moser "Cruiser" has gone on to become a major hit amongst pedophiles and image board lurkers - with its high MSRP and steep discounts, it makes for a great gas-light, implying wealth and taste above the lowly "mall" watches prefered by 90% of the world population. Truly unique and outstanding taste!