what keeps you going ?

i am still so young and yet i cant stop thinking about how every second that passes is just a countdown to my death and the end of everything ive ever loved or looked forward to

i know theres not an afterlife and i have missed out on a lot of really great stuff that i shouldve gotten to do a long time ago
like have a big happy friend group that i hang out with often and regularly

even thinking about that makes me sad knowing eventually my friends will die and even if i love and cherish them for my entire life (assuming i find said people) it will all come to a bitter end. whats the point in living life to the fullest if ill never remember it? whats the point of legacy if everyone will just forget about me eventually, or global warming will kill us, or the sun will explode?

everything has felt so melancholy lately and i cant fix my brain from thinking this way.