>>41025819
Hey siganon, I hope you're well. I was the BPD/attachment anon from a couple of weeks ago if you remember. I stopped cause someone I dated for a bit probably comes in these threads sometimes and I felt embarrassed at the idea of them potentially seeing my posts here and realizing it's me with enough details.
Anyways, do you have any resources or insight on building self worth or self love? I was physically abused as a child and it's caused me a lot of issues with self hate and feeling fundamentally unloveable. I have trouble with vulnerability because I fear others seeing me for who I actually am and potentially rejecting me for it. It's caused a lot of strife in my relationships and in my personal life and I want to work to improve it
When people like me, it makes me feel suffocated, like I have to live up to their expectations constantly otherwise I fear disappointing them. When people dislike me/don't like me as much as I like them, I feel comfortable because I don't have to fear rejection, but it still lacks vulnerability and possible acceptance that I desire
I also started therapy last week, my second appointment is tomorrow
thank you again